Probably best to start with the good news. The housekeeping staff were talking this morning, and as I like to keep abreast of what is going on around here, I was earholing their conversation from behind a chair. The one I don't trust is going away for a couple of weeks. At first I was horrified, as I assumed the pretty one would go with him, and we would be shipped off to Camp Colditz to endure the harsh regime presided over by the evil camp commandant. But no, she is staying here to look after me and the other two.
Wonderful news isn't it? I mean he is a damn nuisance and we will be well shot of him for a while. Good riddance is what I say. I can't wait for him to clear off. The pretty one is extremely gullible - I can wrap her round my little finger. I can see it now, prawns for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper, not forgetting snacks between meals and my little treats for being good. I'm sure the menu will be far superior to the somewhat sparse rations he provides. I'll be able to sleep on the bed as well if I play my cards right - he gets a little touchy about this, especially if I come in after a bit of late night digging in the rain.
What is the bad news then I hear you ask. Well, it's not that bad for me, but it could be traumatic for you lot. Now brace yourselves - you see, when he goes away he is going to take my computer with him, so I won't be able to share these rather eloquent missives with you. What, no Bert's Blog for a couple of weeks, I hear you cry. I know how distressed you must be. How will you get by? "I bet they're delighted not to have to read that rubbish for a fortnight." Who said that? It's my poncy brother, Tabby - I hate him I do really. Just wait until I get my paws on him. Yes, it's true, I will be off-line for the duration. Still, every cloud has a silver lining as they say. In recognition of my generosity in letting him take my computer, he gave me an extra handful of prawns. It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good. "That's enough corny old cliches." I wish Tabby would shut up - he is a pain in the neck. Cliches indeed, I'm fed up to the back teeth with them.
Well that's your lot for today, and the next couple of weeks in fact. Must be off, that poncy brother of mine is already ingratiating himself with the pretty one. I must make sure he doesn't get more prawns than me. I will be back around the end of the month. I just hope you can get by without me. "I expect we'll manage." Who said that? How rude! What a Life! AlbertThe(Off-line)Cat.
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Oh that stinks that he is taking the computer but it is great that you are getting a break from the one you don't trust. Maybe before he goes you can manage to schedule a couple just to tide us over. But if not, don't worry, we will be here when you are back to the blog!
ReplyDeleteNooooo! How can it be? It's a sad news that we'll not going to know about you for a while. Be sure to tell "the one you don't trust" to return the computer intact so you can write again as soon as possible. Meanwhile, enjoy your free time and extra prawns you surely will get from "the pretty one". Take care.
ReplyDeleteBert, I will miss you and can't wait until you're back. Take it easy.
ReplyDeleteJake the red tabby.
Bert, we miss you already sweetheart=don't forget about us either!!!...Wishing you lots of cuddles and prawns, lots of treats and sunshine and lots of kisses from us!...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki
ReplyDeleteHi Albert!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first visit to your blog and already I can see why you'll be missed. Who can resist such an eloquent, not to mention handsome, kitty?
Enjoy your well deserved rest!
Dangerkitty
As brilliant a bl0gger as y0u are, Y0u sh0uld have y0ur 0wn c0mputer by n0w!{My "0" key is br0ken.} Y0urs,
ReplyDeleteSunshine the G0ld Tabby
Oh noooooo. Dat is very bad news cuz I really will miss you. You are always the bright spot in my day. Just hide dat puter from the one you don't trust so he can't find it. Maybe hide it outside in the bushes. Anything so you can stay here with us.
ReplyDeleteNow why should the one you don't trust get to take the computer away? He should be the one going computerless, not you.
ReplyDeleteAnipal bloggers unite - we want our own computers!
ReplyDeleteWell, Bert, I'm happy you're getting a break and, just think, all those prawns (actually, I'm a bit jealous over that, meow...do you share?) But worry not, we're gonna be right here...just wish I had some prawns, meow, meow!
ReplyDelete