Thursday, 1 April 2010

One Born Every Minute!

I think I've just about recovered from yesterdays unfortunate incident with the curry. I didn't get up too early this morning, and by the time I went down for breakfast, Tabby and Ginger Tail were already out and about. I put on my best pitiful look and stared longingly at the pretty one. She immediately rushed to the fridge, and served up some prawns. I've still got the old magic I thought to myself. I carefully checked to make sure they were not poisoned with curry and then devoured them. They hardly touched the sides. Very nice I thought, wonder what's for main course.

Just as I was licking my lips, Tabby and Ginger Tail came charging in through the flap. "You'll never guess" said Tabby, "we've found a magic tree." "Yes" said Ginger Tail, "it's grown overnight in the garden over the back wall." What a load of rubbish I thought. "What's magic about it then?" I asked. "Prawns are growing on it" said Tabby, "there are big fat juicy prawns growing on it." Now, as you can imagine, I was a little sceptical, because we all know where prawns come from don't we - yes, that's right, the big white thing in the kitchen. "Little pink things have grown on the tree overnight" said Ginger Tail, "if you know the magic secret, they turn into prawns." "Little pink things? You stupid cat" I said, "they're buds, anyway how do you know the magic secret." "Wise Old Black Tom told us" she said confidently.

That changed everything, because Old Black Tom is a very clever cat - he knows absolutely everything. If he told them, it must be true. "What's the magic secret then." I asked. "Not telling," Ginger Tail replied. After much pleading, Tabby let me in on it. "What you have to do is walk round the tree three times, scratch the tree trunk as hard as you can for five minutes, jump into the flowerbed, roll in the tulips, and then sit outside the back door and mew as loud as you can with your eyes shut. When you open your eyes, the tree is covered in big juicy prawns."

So off I went. If I hadn't know better, I could have sworn I heard giggling as I left. I climbed over the wall, and sure enough, the tree was just as they said, covered in little pink things. Now, I've had a few run-ins with the woman over the back wall, I think she may be a witch - there is a broomstick propped up against the wall which is a bit of a giveaway. She has no sense of humour, in fact she took great umbrage when I started ferreting about in her roses. She was nowhere to be seen, so I started off by walking round the tree three times. I scratched the trunk for all I was worth, and dived headlong into the tulips - I flattened them! Now for the "piece de resistance" - I sat outside the back door and mewed at the top of my voice with my eyes firmly closed. When I opened them, what a sight greeted me - the witch was standing over me with a bucket of cold water which she then promptly chucked all over yours truly.I was off like a shot. As I went in through the flap, Tabby and Ginger Tail were rolling on the floor convulsed with laughter. "Is it raining?" enquired Tabby, "I thought the sun was out - how did you get on with her prize magnolia?" "Do you know what day it is?" asked Ginger Tail. "32nd March" I replied. "No" she said, "it's 1st April - your special day" "April fool" they cried in unison. Grrrrr... I hate them, I really do.

Well that's my lot for today. Do you know, in the rush to evacuate the woman's garden, I forgot to check out the magic tree to see how many prawns had appeared. Once the witch has calmed down, I will go and have a look - I don't want my stupid brother or my poncy sister stealing them. All that remains is for me to wish you all a pleasant Easter. I'm going to have a well earned rest. I will see you all next week. What a life! AlbertThe(gullible)Cat.


  1. Ah Albert, Don't feel bad. My husband got me this morning. He told me to find out online about a new pet ordinance of black pets need to see vet or be fined...I fell for it..I looked. Happy April Fools! It is just in fun. I got my Father-In-Law, kinda with the same thing. He said it sounded like BS and that no he hadn't heard.

    P.S. I don't think there is no magic tree.

  2. If you find any prawns from dat tree send some my way! =^-^=

  3. Poor Bert=that was a terrible thing that witch did to you!!...We sure hope those prawns are hanging from the tree when you return!MOL...xo...Calle,Halle,Sukki

  4. Oh, poor Albert. They really pulled a mean prank on you. You actually had a bucket of cold water thrown on you?

  5. Tabby and Ginger Tail. I hate them. I really do!

  6. Poor sweetie - sibble'ings can be meanies. Wotch owt for witches and keeps yur distance.

    Not nice to get waters throwed at yoo. I don't mind getting wet cos wen I come home I gets all nicely dried ready to go out and gets all wet again.

  7. Poor Bert, you've been fooled by Tabby and Ginger Tail.
    Rest for the weekend and think of ways to get back at them next week.
    Jake the red tabby

  8. Oh Albert. That was so mean of them to trick you like that, and make you end up all wet. We are not big fans of April Fool's Day ourvelves.

  9. OMC! That mean poncy brother and stupid sister! When water is involved, it just isn't funny! I feel bad enough for you I'll have to take a nap now to get over it.