Friday, 30 April 2010

The Return of Bert.....

Greetings one and all. I'm back. "About time too!" Who said that? How rude. Have you missed me? I said, have you missed me? Don't all shout at once will you. Well, the one I don't trust finally returned from his travels yesterday, and gave me my computer back. I've no idea where he has been. Everything seems to be getting back to normal. In a funny sort of way, I have quite missed him. Life has been pleasant without him, I mean the pretty one has spoilt us rotten, but without the little triumphs I enjoy in my ongoing battle with him, life somehow lacks a challenge.

He seemed quite pleased to see me - I think. Well, he gave me Tabby and Ginger Tail a decent handful of prawns each this morning. The first thing he did when he got back, was to take a look round the garden. Before he went away, he had spent a lot of time planting all manner of things. He even went to great lengths to protect seeds and plants from unwelcome visitors and pests. Now, I'm sure he didn't mean to include me in this, because I had no trouble in getting under the netting and through his amateurish fences to dig in my usual places. They present no challenge at all to a cat of my outstanding intellect. "Tell them how you got your head stuck in the hole in the fence" - it's that poncy brother of mine. I wish he would clear off.Anyway, moving swiftly on, the one I don't trust didn't seem all that impressed with my efforts. His main wrath however was reserved for the birds. He has planted some seed on the bare patches of scruffy grass that he laughingly calls a lawn. While he was standing at one end of the garden, a blackbird landed at the other and duly commenced to tuck in. In a state of near apoplexy he ran after it. The blackbird scooped up a final beakful of seed before flitting up on to the fence and chirping cheerfully in his general direction. This made things worse - he came towards me shaking his fist - "three cats on the payroll" he said, "and I've got birds eating the damn grass seed." He then threatened all three of us with reduced prawn rations if we didn't buck our ideas up. What an outrage I thought. I'm not standing for that.

What can I do to show him who is in charge round here. He has some cumbercu plants - I think that's what they are called. Small marrows I believe. Being a keen horticulturist, I am aware that they are classified as squashes - why are they called that I hear you ask. Obvious really, when I roll around it squashes them, Ho Ho Ho.....Well that's my lot for today. Just time to tell you about the little red things he has planted - most peculiar they are. Do you know I can hear them talk, very quietly though, in a whisper in fact. Unusual for a vegetable don't you think? They must be hoarse radishes! Ho Ho Ho.... I don't know where I get them from. Please yourselves, I thought it was funny. In case he is serious about his malicious threat to deprive me of prawns, I have decided to take up guard duty to keep the pesky blackbirds away. See you all next week. What a life! AlbertThe(ever alert)Cat.

12 comments:

  1. New blog next week? We want new one tomorrow! MOL!

    We love you, Bert!

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  2. We forgot to leave our pawtographs under comment!

    Shiva & Jaya

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  3. Hoarse radish. That's funny. Keep a good eye out on the garden. Wouldn't want to see your prawn ration cut down. And you look so regal sitting there guarding the peas.

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  4. lol, Very punny indeed.


    I couldn't resist.

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  5. You surely were missed. Tell "the one you don't trust", not to take your computer away again, or better, to buy you one. I'm sure you missed him, he makes your life interesting.

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  6. Glad you are back. You were quite right showing the one you don't trust the lapses in his garden defense. Maybe next time he will consult you first. Wish I could have seen the bird laughing at him. You paint a quite a picture for us. Anway, if you want some prawns I am serving them at my 4th birthday party this weekend. If you have some time stop by and party with us. If not have a great weekend.

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  7. (shouting) I MISSED YOU! It's so good to have you back Bert. Guess you are going to have to hone those bird chasing skills to keep the pests off the grass seed.! Of course, I should talk, cuz we have a problem with birds eating grass seed too.

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  8. Funny, how the one you don't trust, you missed. He keeps you on your toes unlike your siblings. Keep up the good guard work.

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  9. Glad you're back, Bert, we missed you!...You are looking so handsome in your garden; we know you will guard it well...And of course, you seem silly as always!...Happy weekend sweetheart...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

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  10. Welcome Back Albert!! We missed You!1

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  11. So glad to see you're back, we missed you. Can't wait to hear more about your guard duty next week ;-)

    Jake the red tabby

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  12. Welcome Back, Albert. Of course we missed you. And for all the work you had to do in the garden, tsk tsk, just a handful of prawns. Besides, if the one you don't trust planted seeds deeper you wouldn't have so many birds to chase away. Hmph!

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