Good news - it looks like the snow has all gone, no idea where to. Need to be careful though, it happened before, then came back when no one was looking. Another thing, along the road where some awful children live, a strange little white chap appeared in the garden, with a nose that looked like a carrot and eyes as black as coal. His arms were so thin they looked like twigs. I was quite fond of him and we had some very interesting conversations, although he didn't say much. I went to see him earlier, and would you believe it, he had disappeared without even a word of goodbye. I had a nice drink though from the puddle near where he used to stand.
What's in store for us next I wonder. Apparently it is going to bucket down according to wise Old Black Tom. He is a very clever cat. He told me it will be "raining cats and dogs by tomorrow." "What - cats and dogs! - we've got plenty of both round here, we certainly don't need anymore." I said. "Don't worry" said Old Black Tom in a condescending voice, "it's just a figure of speech." I pretended to know what he meant.
Anyway, he then went on to explain how this came about. Now, pay attention here, because you lot might just learn something. The story goes like this. Apparently, the ancient Egyptians, who were very wise, looked upon us cats as gods. A cat called Bast, or was it Tiddles? - no I think it was definitely Bast, was daughter of the sun god Ra, which in my book makes Ra a cat as well. So how about that then, the chief god was a cat. Now here is something all you cats should put in the diary - October 31st is the feast day of Bast. "Prawns all round" I hear you cry. This ancient custom should still be celebrated. Bast means "devouring lady" how appropriate, I expect she could shift the prawns! Salmon, tuna - and everything under the Ra(sun) Ho.. Ho.. She possessed an all seeing eye - just like me, always alert, never miss a thing. I seem to have lost my thread, nearly dozed off - what on earth am I on about? Oh yes, cats and dogs.
"How did something as stupid as a dog get in on the act" you ask. Well, the Egyptians thought weather was associated with various animals. Ra, the boss, already had the sun sown up, so they gave Bast rain, the next best thing - it makes everything grow. After others types of weather had been allocated, only the wind remained, and none of the gods wanted the wind! Well, they wouldn't would they? Down on earth they saw a lowly beast chasing a stick and decided in their infinite wisdom, to give dogs the wind, if you will pardon the expression. So when one day there was a really heavy storm - torrential rain, strong winds, Tutankhamun looked out the window of his pyramid, turned to his wife and said "look Cleo, its raining cats and dogs!" Not a lot of people know that!!
Well that's quite enough for today. When you popped in to see me, you never expected a history lesson did you. One last thing, in ancient Egypt, anyone caught harming a cat was for the chop - quite right too. "The housekeeping staff" should bear this in mind next time my prawns are late. My fellow cats, never forget you are descended from the gods. Right, I'm off to sit by the back door to keep an eye out for cats and dogs falling from the sky, just in case Old Black Tom has spun me a yarn - you can't be too careful. What a Life. AlbertThe(omnipotent)Cat.
Hurry Up, Let's Eat
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