Tuesday, 19 January 2010

What Did Astrology Ever Do For Us?

Good day to you all. I trust I find you well. I bet you've checked your stars this morning after yesterday's thought provoking piece. I'm just going to have a look at mine - here we are, Gemini, now what does it say:-

Time is a great healer and can bring about incredible transformations. Great healer? There is nothing wrong with me - who said "you could have fooled me." I think it was that "poncy brother" of mine. Transformations - well we all get older, I mean that's not exactly mind blowing stuff is it? Sometimes, though, you struggle with time, because you lead such a hectic life. Well I do don't I? Only this morning, I went for a little stroll after breakfast, and when I got back, there was hardly time to fit in a nap before my mid-morning snack. It's all go. You must make allowances for others, as they cannot all manage more than one thing at a time as well as you can. Very true - do you know while I am writing this, I am chewing on a prawn as well. Whoops, I've just dropped it. It's gone under the table. Ow, I've banged my head trying to pick it up. Very soon, your dreams will come true, but in months not weeks. I was hoping it would be sooner - so I've got to put up with my "poncy brother" and "stupid sister" for a while longer.This Zodiac stuff isn't all it's cracked up to be. Anyway, on to more important matters. I was looking over the fence this morning hoping to annoy the nasty little Jack Russell that lives over there. Sure enough, out he came yapping away, bouncing all over the place, closely followed by his owner who dragged him back in. Strange how dogs have owners isn't it? I mean I have staff to look after me, but an owner - no I don't think anyone has ever owned a cat. I mean my stay at this place is only temporary. If a better offer comes along, I'm off. I told Ginger Tail of my plans, and she said I was a very ungrateful cat.

"Ungrateful!" I said. "What have the housekeeping staff ever done for us?"

"They took us in when we were born under a bush up at the dump" she said.

"Apart from that?" I replied.

"They let us live in their house" she said.

"I thought it was our house, but anyway, apart from that" I replied.

"They feed us when we are hungry" she said.

"Not enough prawns though are there, but anyway, apart from that" I replied.

"They give us somewhere nice and warm to sleep" she said.

"Of course they do, but apart from that?" I replied.

"They look after us if we are not well" she said.

"Yes, yes, yes, I know, but apart from that?" I replied.

"They make sure no harm comes to us" she said.

"Yes, but apart from that what have they ever done or us?" I said triumphantly.

Just as I thought, she had no answer. Having lost the argument, she walked away shaking her head. I think she realises how futile it is to get involved in philosophical debate with a cat of my intellect. Now where's that prawn I dropped earlier. Ow, I've banged my head again.Well, that's my lot for today. I think I'll hang around a little longer and see if things improve. I told you that the woman over the back wall had taken a shine to me. She got a bit uppity when I had a little dig under her roses mind you, but we can probably patch things up. Always good to have a contingency plan. What a life! AlbertThe(sore-headed)Cat.


  1. Albert, remind me to never get into a philosophical debate with you. MOL!! You're a very smart kitteh!

  2. Truer werds were nevur spoken Albert. They humans iz useful but they iz furever failing to meet humbul expektashuns.

  3. Oh Albert! I do think your sister is laughing at you, she probably ate the prawn you dropped while complaining about your lot in life. Now the prawn is in her belly and what do you have to show..a sore head that is. Mabe you will be more agreeable tomorrow and see the pot at the end of your rainbow. Put some ice on you head and take a nap.