Monday, 4 January 2010

2010 - What's it all about?

Well, here we are then. The New Year has arrived. Doesn't seem much different to the last one does it? Can't understand what all the fuss was about. Still, it's good to get back in the old routine. "The one I don't trust" took all the Christmas decorations down this morning. There is a definite case of double standards around here - during the last fortnight when I have pulled a few things off the Christmas Tree, I have been shouted at and chased out. This morning, he takes the whole lot down and nothing is said. I had got quite use to the tree - the little silver balls especially. I never did manage to get the strange fellow dressed in red with the white beard off of the top - not for want of trying though. The poor old tree is back out in the garden - a very sorry site, it is virtually bald - all the pointy bits fell off on to the lounge floor. Very painful when they stick in your paws. I think he has swept most of them up, but no doubt "the pretty one" will find a few he has missed!

Our esteemed visitors, the pretty one's mother and father, departed yesterday. I thought they were here to stay. I kept them on their toes by being quite friendly towards them - I could see how surprised and unsettled this made them feel - reverse psychology I think they call it - no idea what it means. Anyway, the most important thing is that the settee by the window upon which they appeared to take root, is now vacated and available again to my good self for my occasional naps. The only real downside, was that "the one I don't trust" spent so much time running around and looking after them, he neglected his primary duties, which as we all know involve caring for me and keeping me well supplied with prawns. Anyway, things were back to normal this morning - prawns on time, mind you I could have managed a few more.
I haven't got a clue what to write about today. All bound to be an anti-climax, a bit after the Lord Mayor's show really after recent triumphs - the richly deserved award for the blog and very nearly getting a mention in the New years Honours List. I think I will have to wait for the Queen's Birthday Honours for the inevitable knighthood - do you know we share the same birthdays - well near enough. One thing is for sure, I won't be letting any of you lot in on it after one of you blew the gaff last week.

Now, as we all need something to cheer us up, I thought we would do another agony column later in the week - always good for a laugh. The last one went down a storm, apart from in Manchester where poor George is still under the bed hiding from the mice. Apparently he now thinks he is an elephant! Well, you can't win them all. So, what I want you to do, is to send me in your personal problems and I will do my best to answer them for you. Remember, the more embarrassing, the better. I may even reply to dog questions, although having said that, I will probably be overwhelmed - what a mixed up bunch they are. Send your questions via the "comment" link at the bottom of this dry old posting, or via the good offices of Twitter - @AlbertTheCat or via Facebook - Albert Cat.

Well that's my lot for today. Before I go, I thought I would tell you a little story to show just how perceptive my counselling work can be. "The one I don't trust" was complaining of feeling unwell the other day - a ringing in the ears apparently. They don't have a clue do they - no one thought to ask the obvious question - "does it stop when you answer the phone?" What a Life! AlbertThe(very perceptive)Cat.


  1. You are so dang funny and whitty. I love seeing what you will come up with next. I do have a problem - How can I get my oomans to give me more tuna - like every day instead of just once in awhile. They claim I need to eat mostly kibble, with the other things being a special treat through the day. So, how do I convince dem dat it's healthy for me to get it more? Thank you Albert.

  2. Hi, my counseling friend. I have a problem and need your advise. The problem is that my Mom's vacations are almost over, so I'll be left at home looking out for my stepbro and stepsisters. I'll miss Mom, but I have to find something to do between naps. Do you have any suggestion? Thanks pal!