Turning Native......

Good morning one and all. “The pretty one” departed on Friday to visit her mother for two weeks, leaving “the one I don’t trust” in sole charge. We were all on parade to see her off. A guard of honour was duly formed by the front door. "Is that possible with only three of us" you ask? My thoughts entirely, and I wanted to invite a few pals in – Mad Harry, Slasher Sid et al to beef up the numbers. Tabby strongly advised against the idea, thinking it would be more trouble than it was worth. He’s probably right, after all, Harry and Sid do have some rather questionable personal habits. Anyway we stood to attention as she walked out, closely followed by a small team of Sherpas carrying her luggage.

I thought it best that we lull “the one I don’t trust” into a false sense of security during these early days, so I have issued instructions, that all three of us are to be reasonably well behaved. We’ve survived the weekend without any major calamities. You won’t be surprised to learn though, that things have started going downhill rather quicker than you might expect. He is turning native. Yesterday, he was eating cold beans straight out of the tin would you believe – a cunning ploy to save on the washing up no doubt, as the sink is already full of dishes and plates. In fact the kitchen is a complete mess already – I don’t know how he has managed it in such a short time. Even the mice have started wearing overalls, and I’m sure I saw one wipe it’s feet on the way out!Give him his due though, he has kept us reasonably well fed so far. Prawns have been served for breakfast, and the biscuit bowl has been kept topped up. He is under strict instructions, on pain of death, to send daily bulletins on our wellbeing to “the pretty one,” so he has to be a bit careful. I think she might have a couple of her spies keeping an eye on him!

Well that's my lot for today. I've heard him make arrangements to go out one evening later in the week. I think I will invite some friends round for a bit of a bash. Albert at home I will call it. It has a nice classy ring don't you think. I wonder if Mad Harry and Slasher Sid are available to do the door, or cat-flap, to be more precise. After all, I don't want anyone leaving early once I get them here. Admission will be a mere six prawns each, payable at the door. Mind you, I'm not sure I can trust Harry and Sid with the admission fees - counting is not their strong point if you get my drift. There are three types of cat in this world - those who can count and those who can't, Ho Ho Ho.... What a life! AlbertThe(well behaved)Cat.