Wednesday, 3 March 2010

While the Cat's Away........

Apologies for not reporting back yesterday, but I was still in a state of shock after the recent news. I'm afraid it has been confirmed – I heard the staff talking about the “pretty one’s” visit to see her mother with my own ears. Not that I don’t trust “my poncy brother” you understand, I mean he is as honest as the day is long, I don’t think! After his recent jape regarding our trip to see “the bloke who sticks needles in us once a year,” you can’t be too careful. So she is off at the end of the week, and we are being left in the less than capable hands of “the one I don’t trust.

This could work in our favour” said Ginger Tail. “What do you mean by that” I said. “Blackmail” she whispered furtively. Now as you know, we do not usually expect anything sensible to spout forth from the mouth of “my stupid sister.” This should be good I thought, coming from a cat that has spent most of the last two days crashing into things whilst chasing an airborne pigeon! “If 'the pretty one' comes back from her visit and something bad has happened to one of us, his life won’t be worth living will it?” she said. “He will have to make sure that we are well fed, contented, and in tip top condition when she returns, and the house will have to be spic and span.The penny dropped, as did my jaw. I'm staggered. She is absolutely right. As soon as “the pretty one” gets back, there will be a roll call and a full inspection of the premises. This is the first time in living memory that Ginger Tail has ever said anything worth listening to. We can make his life an absolute misery – I’m going to enjoy this. I can see it now – we will take it in turns to go missing for hours at a time. I'll have to organise a rota – best that I do my stint outside of normal feeding times. As for the house, we are all highly skilled at messing the place up. In all likelihood we can turn him into a gibbering wreck – well more so than he is now.

Things are definitely looking up. "They certainly are - I've been looking up for two days now and my neck hurts" said Ginger Tail haring off as the pigeon flew overhead. I think we can safely regard her moment of inspiration as a one-off!Well that's my lot for today. I'm getting quite excited already at the thought of all the mischief I can get up to. By the end of two weeks, I will have him eating out of my paw. Mmmm... better if I was eating out of his I reckon! As they say, while the cat's away, the mice will play or more accurately, while "the pretty one's" away, Bert will play. Ho Ho Ho.... What a life! AlbertThe(sneaky)Cat.


  1. Albert, we'll be looking forward to reading about all the mischief you make while "the pretty one" is away.

    BTW, not only are you exceptionally handsome, you are exceptionally talented at writing, Albert!

  2. We can't wait to hear all your Naughty Kitty tales, Bert...Those are great pictures of you and your sister=you are a handsome boy and Ginger Tail is gorgeous!...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

  3. Wow, it sounds like you have a wonderful plan going! It sounds like a very fun, naughty time!

  4. Ohhhh, the trouble you kitties can get into!
    Don't play the "don't eat until pretty one returns" game, though. If you get really upset and can't eat, the one you don't trust might offer you some tuna or treats but you never know....

  5. Ginger Tail saves the day! Outstanding idea. You will have so much fun plotting revenge!

  6. Good luck with your plans; I can't wait to hear how it turns out.
    Jake the red tabby.