Friday, 19 February 2010

Taking Liberties........

What a start to the day! You won't believe it. "The housekeeping staff" only managed to run out of our cat biscuits. What an outrage. "The one I don't trust" was dispatched to the shop with utmost haste to rectify the situation. While he was gone, I popped over next door and sure enough, there was a bowl of biscuits in the garden for the nasty little Jack Russell that lives there. Well, any port in a storm - they were quite tasty. I'd only managed a few when the damn thing started yapping away, so I made a swift exit. Unfortunately I now have this strange desire to chase sticks! Do you know, I heard the nasty thing's owner complaining, that it had started chasing everyone on a bike - she should take his bike away, that's what I say! Anyway, to put your minds at rest, the great biscuit famine is now over, and things are back to normal - well what passes for normal round here.There has been some more distressing news. All three of us are now definitely booked in for our booster jabs next Tuesday. This time, I heard it with my own ears, so I don't have to rely on "my poncy brother" for duff information. I was snoozing on the settee when"the one I don't trust" made the phone call to book us in. "Do you think Bert understood that" he chuckled as he put the phone down. What's with this "Bert", I don't remember giving the staff permission to be so familiar! Of course I understood - does he think I'm stupid! Us cats have very sensitive hearing - I can detect a fridge door opening from miles away. After the previous shambles when I spent the whole weekend hiding under the bed, I've decided to adopt new tactics. I'm going to be brave and accept the inevitable. If I'm good, there may be a treat in it for me afterwards - a few juicy prawns I expect.

Well what shall we chat about today then? I need to take my mind off the needles! I know, I discovered this recently, when they were sorting out our vaccination cards. They left the file open, and I was ferreting about inside and I found something very interesting indeed. Do you know, I've been microchipped! It appears I have my very own satellite navigation system, or something similar. I wonder how they did it, and where it is. If only I knew how to turn it on, it could be handy. If I programmed in a stroll round my patch, it would give me directions. "Turn right outside back door, climb up fence on to shed roof, jump on to back wall, proceed along wall, turn left at apple tree, jump into neighbours flowerbed, TURN BACK, TURN BACK, path blocked by Jack Russell." Oh yes, I can see it now.

"It doesn't work like that" said Tabby. "If we get taken to a cat rescue place, they can tell where we come from." What use is that I thought, I know where I come from. The more I think about this, the more worrying it becomes. Can they trace us as we wander about? I don't want the staff knowing what I get up to each day - they would be horrified! It must be an infringement of my animal rights - whatever they are! "You mean civil liberties" said Tabby, "animal rights are all about animal testing." Animal tests - I don't like the sound of that, I might get all nervous and give the wrong answers.Well that's my lot for today. I'm going to have a restful weekend ahead of what promises to be a very stressful week. Our appointment with "the bloke who sticks needles in us once a year" is looming. He always wanted to be a doctor you know, but he didn't have the patience - get it - patients. Oh I give up..... What a Life! AlbertThe(stressed)Cat.


  1. So you all get your needle prick a the same time? We get staggered, except for the group in late fall. No fun.

    Glad the great biscuit famine has ended.

  2. Bert,
    I did not realize that Tabby is so smart ;-)
    Jake the red tabby

  3. this is so interesting! by the way, visit this page and your pet will look incredible! see you there! :)

  4. Lilly aka Caretaker_Cat21 February 2010 at 19:09

    Your jab avoiding solution is very simple. I found it by reading your last two blogs at the same time. Want to avoid the vet? Build a duplicate of yourself from the cat hair you found under the bed, using the template you created for your feral breed. Since your domestic staff does not seem to be too bright, they will never know the difference, they will think you are asleep. Regarding the feral classification issue: I like to think that the snooty cat show people ripped off my breed and claimed it as the Domestic Shorthair aka American shorthair of which there is also a British version. If you view this evidence you might find some similarities in feral cats vs Domestic Shorthairs, other than we are usually available for free while a so called breeder will charge hundreds to thousands $ just by slapping the title on us.
    I look just like the cat in the cats 101 video but you will never catch me in an undignified cat show.