Wednesday, 10 February 2010

The Times They are a Changing!

Greetings folks and fellow cats. Still no sign of the appointment card from "the bloke who sticks needles in us once a year". The postman came and went this morning with no sign of it - they've probably forgotten about us by now. I reckon our very swift shredding of the original may have nipped this outrage in the bud. I think we can relax - I may stand down the guard. At the end of the day, us cats are just a little too clever.

Talking of buds, I heard some very worrying news on the telly last night. Something about Spring arriving 11 days early this year. Whose idea was that? Why can't these damn scientists just leave things as they are - I was quite happy with the existing arrangements. What a load of rubbish I thought, but there it was in black and white on the BBC website. So, this morning I went out into the garden to investigate. Now, we all know a snowdrop appeared recently - I soon put a stop to that - Ho Ho Ho.... Well, another one has appeared, along with some yellow crocuseseses, or whatever they are called. Now I've checked back in my diary, and it appears that it was nearing the end of February before I swatted my first crocus last year!

There must be some truth in this nonsense after all. My initial thought was - "what the heck, time for a nap," and I was wandering back to bed when something most disturbing hit me. The article referred to the food chain being disrupted. Apparently bees and the like can't be bothered to get up early to do what ever they do to the flowers, the upshot being no fruit and seeds. Now as I never eat fruit and seeds, I don't see what concern this is of mine. However, it then went on to say that even those at the top of the food chain will be effected. Now, I can assure you that round here, no one comes higher in the food chain than yours truly!! Must be why my prawns were late this morning. I must go and wake up all the bees - lazy little perishers.And another thing, where have those 11 days gone - do we get them back, or are they lost forever. I think we should be told, I mean someone must have them somewhere! What will they do with them - I bet they add them back on when we're not looking. Probably tag them on to the Winter. Is my birthday 11 days earlier - am I 11 days older? Have I missed out on 11 breakfasts, dinners and suppers - not to mention the accompanying snacks? Mark my words, no good will come of it. Things like time should be left well alone. Where will it end? If they keep making things earlier, I will have to get up before I go to bed! Aaaaggggghhhhhhhh.......... my brain is hurting! I must rest it.That's my lot for today. I'm off for a lie down in a darkened room. I bet they blame it all on global warming they usually do! Well tell me this then, if Spring is earlier and things are hotting up, why is it snowing outside? Answer that one then - not so clever now are you! What a life! AlbertThe(most distressed)Cat.


  1. Bert, you are thinking too much - it is very bad for you. Chill out. I recommend a bit of catnip and a good rest.



  2. Bert, you're a real campainger at heart aren't you? But don't diss the bees, we need 'em. No bees,no pollination, no food... no Prawns!!! Follow @HelpSaveBees on Twitter and find out loads of stuff about how important they are :-))

  3. Bert; you are a smart dude, you think too much.

    Jake the red tabby

  4. Albert ~~
    You're putting a strain on your brain. The pic of you on the stairway landing seems to show a cat in acute distress; that's exactly how I look when I have a jammin' migraine.

    Give the bees and global warming a wee bit of a rest. You're too clever by half, as the saying goes.