Thursday, 11 February 2010

The Great Escape!

There has been some terrible business here today. You'll never guess what has happened. Our confidence yesterday that "the bloke who sticks needles in us once a year" had forgotten about us was totally misplaced. The appointment card arrived in the post this morning. Before I could do anything, "the one I don't trust" picked it up and said "they've got to go to the vet for their boosters next week - that'll cost me an arm and a leg!" How mean can he be? Surely it is a small price to pay for having me live with him! Anyway, if I have my way, I'll save him a few bob by doing a runner.

Now, should I let "my poncy brother" and "my stupid sister" in on it, or should I just leave them in complete ignorance. Probably the latter, after all, I don't want them spooking the staff. If they block the flap up too soon, it will foil my escape. "Have you heard" said Tabby as he walked past, "we are booked in for our jabs next week." I was aghast! "How do you know that?" I said. "Oh they were talking about it earlier - apparently it is on Tuesday, and they plan to shut us in on Monday night." said Tabby - "Ginger Tail knows as well, we weren't going to tell you." What a treacherous, deceitful brother I have - I hate him I really do.Anyway, this is no time for fighting amongst ourselves. That can wait until afterwards. In our hour of need, we must stand together for the common good. I immediately summoned a meeting of the escape committee on the back step. "Any bright ideas?" I said. "Yes" said Ginger Tail, "why don't we just go and get it over with - they always catch us in the end". "I think she's right" said Tabby. Well, I couldn't believe my ears at such defeatist talk. Clearly I needed to rally the troops.

"We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in the kitchen, we shall fight on the bed, we shall fight in the lounge, with growing confidence and hissing and spitting, we shall defend ourselves, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the settee, we shall fight on the landing and on the stairs; we shall never surrender."

Stirring stuff eh? "No, I think we should give up" said Tabby. "You can always hide up the chimney like you did last year" sniggered Ginger Tail. There was no need to bring that up! "What happened" I hear you cry. It was most unfortunate, I'm sure it had been made narrower, anyway I became wedged in. "The one I don't trust" wanted to leave me there until I had lost a few pounds - eventually he had to stick his hand up and drag me out by the scruff of the neck - I was covered in soot! Oh how he laughed! Black cats weren't lucky for him though - I took a lump out of his thumb.So, it looks like I am on my own. I think I'll clear off now, or shall I wait until after supper. I think I'll wait until after the weekend - after all, it is very cold outside. Maybe I'll dig a tunnel.

Well that's my lot for today. Did I tell you what happened last time we went to see "the bloke who sticks needles in us once a year?" Well, "the one I don't trust" asked if there was anything he could do to stop us purring. "Why do you want to do that" said the vet. "Because relatives are visiting, and I don't want them to think we are pleased to see them!" What a nasty piece of work he is! What a life! AlbertThe(Houdini)Cat.


  1. The escape committee, I love it! What a crew in the photo--made me laugh and laugh. Hope you can make your escape, my friend!

  2. Don't do it Albert... it's a Doggie, Dog world out there ^-^

  3. I feel for you Bert! I had to go the VET today too. I tried to hide but was caught and stuffed in a box and brought to that stinky place to get jabbed.
    Jake the red tabby

  4. Hi! we just finded your blog and want to know if you would like to be furriends with us?

  5. Get it over with. You need to stay healthy so accept going to the Vet with reassignation.

  6. We hope you will go peacefully in the PTU. No, it isn't any fun but it is generally over with quickly. We don't want to lose you as our friend.