Monday, 8 February 2010

That Newton Chap Has a Lot to Answer For..........

Well, here we are then. Monday again. Don't they come round quickly - the last one only seems about a week ago. I hope you all had a nice weekend. I had a very restful time, hardly got out of bed. We were all up bright and early this morning though to keep watch for the postman. Still no sign of the reminder card from "the bloke who sticks needles in us once a year," so we can relax for another day.

I'm keeping a low profile at the moment. I was walking around on the kitchen tops early this morning before "the housekeeping staff" surfaced - all part of my daily inspection of the premises you understand. I feel it is my duty to make sure everything is in order - and also of course to see if they have left anything worth eating lying around. Quite often there are rich pickings to be had, especially if they have been too lazy to clear up last night's meal before bed. Anyway, while I was there, I was having a quick drink from the sink and lost my balance. As I stumbled, my tail caught a vase of flowers which crashed on to the floor. You can imagine the commotion. I was off and out the flap like a robbers dog, if you will pardon the expression."The one I don't trust" came blundering down the stairs - "Ow" he said as he stubbed his toe in the dark. He then proceeded to use some very strange words - he must be learning French! Oh how I laughed - from a safe distance of course. "My poncy brother" was slow out of the blocks and was spotted exiting the flap - now hopefully they will put two and two together and come up with five, and he will be in the frame. No prawns for him today I bet, unless he ingratiates himself with "the pretty one."Just to be on the safe side, I am hiding under the bed - it was too cold outside. Why did the vase fall off? I blame that Isaac Newton fellow for inventing gravity. Before him, I expect the vase would have floated gently down to the ground. He has got a lot to answer for - I hope that apple landing on his bonce gave him a rotten headache. Now if cats had invented gravity, it would stop about two feet above the ground. Also, without gravity, us cats would be able to fly - we could have caught all the birds by now. I have attempted flying. I can do it downwards, but upwards is much more difficult - the best I have managed is about a second before being brought back down to earth with a nasty bump!

Now before I go, I have just noticed something strange about my blog - "there's an awful lot of strange things about his blog if you ask me!" What? How rude, who said that? No, seriously I have noticed text and pictures up the right hand side that have got nothing to do with me - advertisements! How did they get there? Looks like they were written by a bloke called Adsby Google - what a funny name. He must have hacked into my site. I've had a quick look at a few of them - do you know they keep changing. There's all sorts of rubbish encouraging the "housekeeping staff" to buy shoddy products for us cats. I'd steer well clear if I was you.

Well, that's my lot for today. Adsby must think that you folks who look at this stuff I churn out are a rum lot! There was an advert earlier for people with a "drink problem" - whatever that is. Drinking is easy, apart from nearly falling into the sink this morning that is. What a life! AlbertThe(gravity defying)Cat.


  1. Blame someone elze - datz my motto! Purrrrrrrrz

  2. Blame someone elze datz my motto! Sincerely, @EllaBellaKitty aka da onez whoz alwayz innocent!

  3. Oh, that brother. Always causing problems. :) Times like that make having a brother worthwhile. Take care.

  4. I reckon it was a squirrel that chucked that apple at Isaac newton - you can't trust them. By the way, love your blog. Oscar The Cat.

  5. They wouln't be able to pin this one on you.
    Jake the red tabby