Monday 1 March 2010

Home Alone - Apart From Him!!!

When I awoke bright and early this morning I wandered over to the window, and what an inspirational sight greeted me. The early morning sun was just peeping over the hedgerows, and spears of light were glistening on the lightly frosted grass, like twinkling diamonds. The wondrous hues of newly bloomed crocuses, bluebells and snowdrops - blues, yellows, purples and brilliant white against a backdrop of vivid green - a picture to behold. The dawn chorus was in full song, as blue tits, sparrows and robins joyously greeted the new day with a rich melodious cacophony of sound. Mother nature in all her glory. I sat and admired such handiwork and I knew at once what I should take full advantage of the wonderful gifts she has bestowed upon us. Yes, that's right, I went straight back to bed, stopping only for a light breakfast on the way.Well, what did you think I was going to do? I mean, mornings come round every day nearly, so there's no need to get carried away is there! After all, I need my rest. Anyway, I eventually surfaced just before lunch, and the sun was still out, so clearly I made the right decision. Time for a good scratch, and roll in the dirt before eating. I was starting to doze off in the warm sunshine, when the tranquility was broken by the sound of "my stupid sister" crashing over the back wall in hot pursuit of a large pigeon that was flying at least thirty feet above the ground. I do wonder about her at times. "You'll never catch that" I said. "I'm gaining on it" she replied as she shot past.

Next, "my poncy brother" Tabby appears out of the cat flap with a concerned look on his smug face, and comes over and sits down for a chat. He was the bearer of some very worrying news. Apparently he had overheard a telephone call between "the pretty one" and her mother. "She's visiting" said Tabby, "for a fortnight." "What!!!" I exclaimed, but we've only just got rid of her after Christmas. "No, no" said Tabby, "you don't understand, it is far worse, her mother is not coming here, 'the pretty' one is going to visit her!" The thought of two weeks in the Colditz Cattery under the supervision of the evil camp commandant filled me with dread. "It's bad, but not quite that bad" said Tabby, "she is going on her own, 'the one we don't trust' is being left behind to look after us."My initial relief quickly turned to horror. I mean, "the one I don't trust" is hardly capable of looking after himself, he's barely house trained. Surely he can't be left in charge for two whole weeks. I reckon he has been biding his time waiting for an opportunity like this to get his own back on me - I'll probably starve. Apparently she is not going until the end of the week, so there is time to hatch a plan. I think I'll let the Cats Protection people know what is going on - they keep in touch through the good offices of Twitter you know.

Well, that's my lot for today. I'm in shock. What started off as a rather pleasant day, has gone downhill very quickly. What on earth possessed her to desert us and leave him totally unsupervised. Who is going to tie his shoelaces for him? Without her around things are bound to go to pot. His view of housework is why bother, in six months time it will need doing again. What a life! AlbertThe(deserted)Cat.

10 comments:

  1. Oh, no, Albert, this is a calamity! You do need a plot, er, plan. We're crossing our paws you can figure something out so you don't starve while "the pretty one" is away. How about automatic feeders? Think about it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Albert, you need some help. Hope you can figure out a solution to what to do while the Pretty one is away. Maybe it won't be too bad. Try to have a good week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. goodness gracious me! what are you going to do? this calls for urgent action....you three must stick together and hatch a cunning plan...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Albert, this sounds really bad but then again maybe you can use this time to bond with "the one I don't trust", you never know when you're going to need him,
    Jake the red tabby

    ReplyDelete
  5. Bert, we hope you and your siblings can come up with a plan soon=it doesn't sound good and 2 weeks is a long time...Why do our humans think it's ok to leave us sometimes??...Hang in there; Mom says you are welcome here if you want to stay with us!...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

    ReplyDelete
  6. You poor kitties! Maybe the pretty one will bring back something special. We know that "the one I don't trust" wouldn't forget about you though... the pretty one would be very very cross if anything happened to any of you. A few good makeup purrs to "the one I don't trust" might be a good idea to show that you buried the hatchet.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Albert what will you do? Can you fake being sick? Maybe "the pretty one" would take you with her if you were and leave "poncy brother" and "stupid sister" with "the one you I don't trust." Does that sound like a plan you can work with?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey, we gave you an award. Stop by the pick it up!

    The Crew

    ReplyDelete
  9. what a beautiful blog ... love the descriptive start.. i hope all goes well because if the one you dont trust is like polish boy you will be in trouble.. plan a great escape cat stylee..


    Millychickadee aka milly the moo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh nooooo- I'm going to worry about all of you being left with him!!

    ReplyDelete