Sunday, 15 November 2009

Only Nine Lives!!

Greetings one and all. It is a fine day here in old London town. I was up at the crack of lunchtime, the sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, nice and warm. I very nearly got up and went for a walk, but after giving it due consideration, I decided to turn over and go back to sleep. As regular readers will know, I am a firm believer in Sunday being a day of rest. Anyway, I have had to get up now, in order to partake of breakfast before lunch. If you're not careful "the housekeeping staff" are liable to combine the meals - brunch they call it. No self-respecting cat would go along with an idea as stupid as that. Why have one meal when you can have two? On a positive note, you will be pleased to hear that there has been no further talk of putting me on a diet. It seems to have gone on the back burner. My show of displeasure at the very prospect appears to have nipped this outrageous idea in the bud.

I am getting a little concerned that the "housekeeping staff" are not showing me enough respect. They are getting ideas above their station. I discussed this the other night with the wise old black tom from down the road. He's in charge of the Feline Local Education Association (FLEA for short). We call him "Chairman Meow". He said that they should be more like the ancient Egyptians who actually worshipped cats - we were looked on as gods. This seems to me to be a most satisfactory arrangement. Apparently when cats died in Ancient Egypt they were mummified and chucked into the pyramid along with the Pharaohs. Now this came as a terrible shock to me, because I had no idea that we died - I thought this was purely a human characteristic, and once they had passed their sell by date, then us cats just acquired another one.
This is me pontificating the prospect of mortality. I was quite taken aback, so much so, that I needed to go for a lie down in a darkened room. On reflection though us cats do have nine lives, which is eight more than humans, so I've probably got a while to go yet. I wonder how many I have used up so far? A worrying thought!
All this thinking is making me tired, so I will sign off for today. I will return tomorrow. What a Life - all nine of them! AlbertTheCat.


  1. No wonder you are having trouble sleeping!! I don't want to be mummified either.

  2. Just be sure that your staff knows what you want at all times. You will outlive all of them.