Nosy Neighbours !

Not been a good day so far. Things started badly, and then went downhill. My peaceful slumber was disturbed at some unearthly hour this morning by all manner of banging and crashing. Seven 'o' clock would you believe - I didn't know there was a seven 'o' clock in the morning as well! The "housekeeping staff" were up and about and in a right panic. You will remember that on Friday I told you they had cleaned the place up in anticipation of visitors, who fortunately never showed up. Well little did I know, but they were re-scheduled for this morning. I hate visitors. So we had the damn vacuum cleaner out again. What a row. "My poncy brother", "my stupid sister" and me had put a lot of work in over the weekend to get the hair back on the furniture - it had been a real team effort, all to no avail.

We were all shoved out into the garden - it was barely light. The prawns were virtually non-existent - a mere afterthought as we scuttled out of the cat flap. You can see Ginger Tail making her escape. Me and tabby were half way down the garden! easy to see how she got her name. "The one I don't trust" also had the right idea. As soon as the clean-up was finished, he cleared off as well. No idea where he went, but he looked pleased to be getting out of it. I crept back in for a snack, but there was to be no last minute reprieve this time. Just after nine 'o' clock, a knock on the door, and they arrived. I took one look and headed for the hills - two woman that live just a few doors along the road and three, yes three small children. If there is one thing I hate more than visitors it is small children. I recognised one of the women - for some reason she doesn't like me. The feeling is mutual. I had recently dug some bulbs up and flattened a few plants in her garden for her. She was most ungrateful and chased me off with a bucket of water. I hope she hasn't come round here to complain!

I have subsequently discovered what went on. I sent my "stupid sister" Ginger Tail, back to spy. She sat on the windowsill and observed everything (see picture). The three kids ran amok - apparently one of them even played with my toy mouse - he was chewing it. If only they knew where that had been, it would have certainly wiped the smile of mum's face... Ho Ho. Worse is to come. Ginger Tail's cover was blown. She was spotted and the conversation turned to cats. One of the woman, the troublemaker, said:-

"I've seen that cute little ginger tailed one on my garden shed, along with a nice looking tabby. Are they yours".

"Yes" says the "pretty one".

"They're lovely" the woman said, "but what about the big fat black and white one who digs up my flowerbed - is he one of yours as well?"

Big! fat! - what a cheek. I don't hold out much hope for the herbaceous borders in her garden next spring. The real problem however as regular readers will realise is that the possibility of being put on a diet is back at the top of the agenda. I thought this outrage had died a natural death, but just one ill informed comment has undone all my good work. It has reinforced "the pretty one's" misguided view that I am overweight. Surely it can't come to this. I barely survive on what they give me at the moment. Think I'll go and console myself with a few cat biscuits. I can't imagine there is much chance of any prawns today now. Only hope is to use my irresistible charm on the "pretty one" - it usually works. How can she resist.

Well that is definitely the lot for today. Much to think about. Let's hope we have a quiet day tomorrow. What a Life! AlbertTheCat.