Monday, 2 November 2009

My poncy brother

It has been an exhausting day. The housekeeping staff decided to vacuum the place this morning. It has taken me ages to get things how I like them and then they go and do that. To make matters worse, it makes an appalling din - I had only just got back to sleep after breakfast (a very small handful of prawns), when it starts up. Fortunately the sun was out, so I went for a nap on top of the shed.

After telling you yesterday how I got my name, and previously how my stupid sister got hers, I suppose I also ought to tell you how my poncy brother got his. I doubt if you are that interested! His name is Tabby, and guess what - yes you've got it, he is a common or garden tabby. End of story really. However, there is a little twist in the tale - I would like to twist his tail, ho ho. As you know by now he is a deceitful, self serving, sycophantic cat whose only aim in life is to ingratiate himself with "the pretty one". The kowtowing is beneath contempt. Unbelievably, "the pretty one" is so gullible she falls for it every time. Just so you can see what I mean, here are a couple of pictures of him, in his typical "cute and adorable" pose - stomach churning I call it.

Now, the other day, I was sniffing around, and I came across some paperwork about our vaccinations, presumably provided by "the bloke who sticks needles in me once a year" - I hate him! Mine and Ginger Tail's all seemed to be in order, but the name on my poncy brother's was - LEO. My shock quickly turned to delight, I mean Leo, that is no name for a cat. I have had great fun telling him and of course he is deeply ashamed that his dark secret is out. I told my stupid sister, all the other cats in the neighbourhood, and even next door's dog - all in strictest confidence you understand. I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Well that's your lot for today, I am a very busy cat. I've got to go and start putting the hairs back on the furniture. What a life. Albert the Cat.


  1. I hate to say this, Bert, but... your brother is kind of cute!

  2. Dear Bert,My name is Fizzey,I am a Siamese cat
    living in France with the pretty ones Mother and Father and find your blog very interesting.Your staff seem to look after you well e.g.prawns,I only get cat meat and biscuits, sometimes the old lady gives me some mince.I know what you mean about brothers,I,ve got one,his name is Tyson but he is only half Siamese (his mother was a bad cat!)he is very thick e.g.he likes dogs!and the old man!Well its not a very nice day today,cold and raining so I am just off to jump all over next doors clean cars then back in for a nap.Will write again soon,Regards,Fizzey.