Thursday, 10 December 2009

Take Time to Smell the Roses........

Just a quick post today. I am very busy. Voting closes this evening, and I have to ensure all my supporters have turned out. Not only that, but I have to finish off my victory speech for when the results are announced tomorrow - it is coming along really well, you certainly won't want to miss it. The final campaign rally went down a storm last night. There was a massive turn out of Old Black Tom, Quasimodo, a couple of mangy strays and next doors snappy little Jack Russell.

I decided to take the morning off from campaigning, especially when I saw the sun shining. After a pleasant breakfast of prawns and biscuits, I had just settled down for a nice nap on the shed roof, when lo and behold, "the one I don't trust" decided to do a bit of gardening, "a last tidy up of the year" I heard him say. I really could have done without it to be honest, but I thought I ought to keep an eye on things - supervise if you like, after all I know a bit about horticulture. Nothing like a good dig is there! He raked all the leaves up, chopped out some dead growth, and weeded the flower beds. Very good of him - it should make it a little easier for me to get to the young saplings for a spot of scratching.
Now comes the interesting bit - he had these six great big bags of the most foul, pungent stuff you could imagine. Not sure what it is, but it smells like the stuff pigs would be happy in, if you get my drift! "What's that awful pong" said Ginger Tail as she walked past with Tabby - "it reminds me of Bert's speech last night" said "my poncy brother". What can he have meant by that? Strong and powerful I expect. Anyway, "the one I don't trust" started spreading it all over the place, under the roses, digging it into the borders, the vegetable patch, and then would you believe he goes and puts some on his rhubarb - "why can't he have custard like everyone else" I thought - Oh how I laughed. Must write that one down, I might be able to use it in my victory speech!

There is a serious point here - it will soon be time for me to have a roll before lunch - no not ham roll, a roll and dig in the flower bed I mean. I have a very bad feeling that if I should go for a clean-up on the duvet afterwards, there may very well be severe consequences for him. Someone is likely to catch it in the neck from "the pretty one". Clearly he hasn't thought this through at all. Anyway, I have far more important things to worry about - it's his problem.

Well that's my lot for today. It's all I've got time for. Off to do a bit of last minute campaigning before the polls close. Don't forget, there is still time for you to vote for me. I hope to see you all again tomorrow to celebrate my pending victory. Once more for the last time - Yes we can..., Yes we can..., Yes we can..... What a Life! AlbertThe(horticultural)Cat.

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