Wednesday, 9 December 2009

"Ask Not What Bert Can Do For You........."

Only one more day of voting left, and things are looking very good indeed. By all accounts I have a substantial lead. I think the new campaign slogan that I announced yesterday has made all the difference. We just need to guard against complacency and a last minute surge in the polls for either of the rival candidates - "my stupid sister" and "my poncy brother". So if you still haven't voted, then there is still time - just go to the ballot box in the top right hand corner and place your click next to Albert - yes you can! yes you can!I am planning to hold my final campaign rally on top of next doors shed this evening. Come early to avoid disappointment, as space along the back wall is limited. Latecomers will have to sit in next doors garden where that nasty spiteful little Jack Russell lives. I shall be making a keynote speech outlining the main thrust of my manifesto. - "prawns for all"

"And so, my fellow cats: ask not what Bert can do for you - ask what you can do for Bert".

"Never in the field of feline conflict was so much owed by so many to Bert"

"I have a dream today - prawns for all".

These are just little tasters of the great oratory you can expect at tonight's rally. Tickets are available on the gate at the very reasonable price of just four prawns each.
After the rally, I shall undertake a whistle stop tour to the outer reaches of the constituency - from the big tall fence at one end to the row of trees at the other. This should be clear to all you other cats, as I have only recently re-marked the boundaries of my territory - if you know what I mean!!Well that's your lot for today - I know it seems a little presumptuous, but I have to go and work on my victory address, and what a belter it is. Unfortunately you will have to wait until Friday after the votes have been counted and Old Black Tom has announced the results. Don't forget you still have time to vote - yes you can! yes you can! What a life! AlbertThe(crusading)Cat.

1 comment:

  1. You are too - too funny. You should run for a senate seat, they way things are going you are sure to win. Then Prawns for everyone. That could be your motto to run . "Prawns for all cats in the US". YOu have a winner slogan.

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