What a fine morning - the sun is shining, perfect day for electioneering. I would have been out on the campaign trail earlier but after breakfast I decided to have a quick nap in the Autumn sunshine on top of the shed. As expected, things are looking good. Early indications from exit polls are very encouraging. However, we must not take anything for granted. The polls do not close for another three days. So if you haven't voted for me yet, there is still plenty of time. Just go to the ballot form in the top right hand corner and click next to my name. Remember "votes mean prawns" - another of my witty campaign slogans.
Now, it has come to my attention, that malicious rumours casting aspersions on my integrity are circulating. These are almost certainly being spread by my opponents - "my poncy brother", whose deceit and cunning knows no bounds, and "my stupid sister" who will stop at nothing to get her own way. The main thrust of the discontent seems to be that I am acting as the sole adjudicator. To nip this in the bud, and especially now that early indications are favourable, I have decided to appoint an independent observer to oversee proceedings, and also to act as returning officer. Who better for this role, than Wise Old Black Tom from down the road.
I went to see him bearing a small gift - half a dozen prawns. He very kindly agreed to help out, but said that he could not accept the gift as it may be misconstrued, and it could compromise him. What a fine upstanding cat - an example to us all. He even offered to look after the prawns for me while I went and did some canvassing. When I returned to collect them, you'll never guess what had happened - he had been mugged, and the prawns stolen. "I tried to fight them off" he said as he licked his lips and cleaned his whiskers! What is this world coming to?
As you can see, I've been busy working on an exclusive range of high quality campaign merchandise, featuring another new slogan - "Yes We Can!" - what do you mean you've heard it before - surely not? Someone must have stolen it from me - I have the copyright. Just let me know who else has claims, and they will hear from my lawyers. You wait until you see the T-shirts!
Well that's my lot for today. I've got far more important things to do than sit here and ramble away to you. I have to get back out on the stump. There are babies, or should that be kittens, to be kissed, speeches to be made, paws to be greased, sorry I meant shook, all in the name of democracy. Every vote counts, and don't forget, there could be a prawn in it for you. I am relying on all my supporters to turn out and vote - all together now - "Yes We Can".. "Yes We Can".. "Yes We Can".. "Yes We Can".. "Yes We Can".. "Yes We Can".. What a Life! AlbertThe(candidate for change)Cat.
Time Flies As Merci Ages
1 day ago